I thought, "Huh, I need to check Blackboard at 3:00 so I can read and critique people's poems..." And then it dawned on me. "I have to write, edit, and post this poem in one hour!!" Since I'm not Jack, I flew into a panic, furiously hammering it out and then hacking away the extra lines. Needless to say it was late, and I've been torturing myself all week with visions of terrible critiques.
But it turned out to be ok, and I survived. Most of the comments were positive, even from my teacher. Whew! I guess poems are so subjective that even a bad poem with good meter will get good comments.
The workshop gave me enough confidence to post it here. Critique away! Tell me what it made you think, what didn't work, what you wanted more or less of.
The Centaur
I saw a creature near an apple tree.
Above a man below a beast, he drew
His bowstring back, his contoured shoulders taut.
The sunlight set his burnished coat aflame.
A buck and doe crept into view and grazed.
I’ve wondered, does the centaur ever wish
That he could trade his iron hooves for flesh,
Or change his arms for forefeet, beard for mane?
Whistle, thump, a flash of scarlet fruit.
The tree boughs burst with squawks—the deer took flight.
He galloped past the tree to take his prize.
His merry laugh rang out, and then a crunch.
He wiped the arrowhead across the grass
A creature not horse and not a man.
He trotted off, I think, toward his hearth.
I'm glad he shot an apple, not his half brother or sister!
ReplyDeleteAnd I love his yummily munching face with his squiggly chewing mouth!
ReplyDelete