"I Do Not Like to Write"

   Happy Labor Day weekend to my US readers, and happy regular weekend to my Russian and other international readers! It's been a week since I last posted, not because I didn't have time. I was waiting to have something to say. When I'm looking for something to write about for The Well, one thing I do is look up quotes. And when I look up quotes on writing, more than authors telling what a jolly, wonderful, sparkly time they have putting their thoughts to paper, they tell how difficult or even unpleasant it is. Isn't that strange?

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   I don't know much about Gloria Steinem (feminist, journalist), but most of what I know I disagree with. There is one quote of hers, though, that I like a lot. Steinem said, "I do not like to write - I like to have written."

   Sometimes I wish I had days and days just to be stuck to my story and do nothing but see the world from my character's point of view and watch what happens next. That's rare. More often writing feels like a chore, but I keep doing it because I know once I'm finished and I look back, I'll be happy with what I see.
   What makes it a chore? I think part of the reason is that I know what I write will be read (even if it's only by one other person), so I feel pressure to write something good. I used to write stories completely for myself. I didn't think about showing them to brothers or sisters or friends or parents. There was just something that I wanted to read, so I wrote it (or at least started it). It was like watching a movie where everything that you want to happen happens.
  So my discovery is that even though it sounds selfish, when I write for myself (what I would want to read), I write for others, because that's what other people will enjoy, too. And even though it sounds good, if I write for others (what I think they want to read), I'm writing for myself, cause all I'm trying to do is please people, and that ends up being quite stifling.
   

Skating

    I've been taking a lot of notes for classes, and I use these free pens I got from my university. They have flowy ink, so the points just slide along the page like...kind of like skating but softer. I write my lecture notes in a regular, cheap spiral bound notebook. The pages are kind of soft and springy when I'm on the front side (if I turn it over to the back, I'm writing against the stiff cardboard cover).

    I just noticed today how strangely much I enjoy those two feelings, of writing with the right kind of pen on the right kind of paper. And not just for notes. Even with fun writing I sometimes, no, a lot of times really dislike the process of thinking of what should happen next and putting what's in my brain down so I can read it. But actually skating things onto paper is fun, as long when I have something to write!

Learning

   I'm back! I feel like I haven't posted in forever, but it's only been 6 days. This week the only writing I've done besides copying lecture notes into my notebook was to scribble down a poem. I didn't feel very motivated to squeeze writing into my busy days since I don't have a story I'm dying to work on. But today is my mostly free day, so maybe I'll finally get something done. But first I have to tell you a story.

   This past week someone new started at work. We were asking each other questions, like "where are you from" and "how are classes going."
   Then he asked, "Have you been to a party?"
    I said I wasn't the party type of girl.
   "Have you been to the club?"
    I said nope. He seemed pretty surprised then, and next he asked, "So, what do you do when you're not at school or work??"
    I said, "Well, I want to become a writer, so I write for fun."
   He said, "Really? Me too."
   At first I thought he was being totally sarcastic but later he brought it up again. "I like to write," he said.
   "Really?" I said, wondering if it was true.
   "Yeah, one time my English teacher put the word 'journey' on the board, and he told us to write a, not a story, but like a paper about what 'journey' means to us. I turned it in, and he told me it was one of the best ones." He also said that at the beginning of school he used to write really long stories.
  It was my turn to be surprised. So it was true!

  I keep on learning how much more there is to people than you first think. That's what makes them interesting, I guess, and maybe that's what can make my characters more real and round.

Bits and Pieces

   When I think of being read to, I think of little kids and elderly people. But it's actually fun for all ages. My little brother is reading me The Hobbit now (which I mostly forgot what happened), and it's fun! If someone else reads to you, you can do a lot of things at once. First, you're reading a book. Second, you're reading it together, so it's a sort of group activity. Third, your hands are free, so you can do push-ups or alter a shirt or just lay there and rest.

   I suddenly got very tired of writing "The Umbrella," for a few reasons. Helen is starting to annoy me, things are getting too calm, and...I don't know. My writing style is starting to get boring. O.o So I took a break and wrote a poem. I wrote it specifically to be set to music and worked harder on rhythm and sound than on deep metaphors and ingenious rhymes. I haven't had it critiqued or anything, so here it is in it's raw form.

Goodbye, blue, blue sky

So dry, without a cloud in sight

Goodbye, sitting

Out on the front porch licking blue popsicles

Goodbye, time

To buy or lose or waste on sleep

It’s been a long, long season

Scorching sun every day--I thought it’d never end

Now I’m feeling down cause I’m moving on, yeah, that’s the reason

Goodbye, summer

With your late, late nights and later mornings

Goodbye, floating

On the river, in the rain, and getting burnt

Goodbye, reading

For hours on end in perfect silence

It’s been a long, long season

Scorching sun every day--I thought it’d never end

Now I’m feeling down cause I’m leaving you behind, yeah, that’s the reason

Goodbye, long summer

   Btw, I love feedback. I always have. My favorite part of middle and high school English was reading teachers' comments on my work. So what do you think? What topics are you most interested in? Do you agree or disagree with my reflections? Also, I'd be happy to read your writing, if you want to share it!

The Little Green Grass

   I went to a book discussion today, over The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. I sat at a table with one professor and three students. I wasn't surprised that the professor, who had a background in biology, was impressed by the book and had a lot to say. I was surprised at how much the two girls had to say! They were so opinionated and had deep thoughts. I really didn't have anything great to say. I felt so young like a little green grass when it was my turn. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time giving my characters depth--they're as uncertain and unopinionated as I am!

Goodbye, Summer

  It just hit me today that classes start next week, and even though I should've been up at the crack of dawn starting all the last-minute projects I want to squeeze in before the vacation is gone, I woke up at 8:30 and was bored all day (except when I was reading about bird-watching in an old encyclopedia while playing Scotland Yard with my brother and sister). I know I'll look back later in the semester and wish I could have those hours back.
   Anyway, I wanted a picture for this post, so I went outside, and Almost Lover started playing in my head. It's not about summer, but still it's a goodbye song.

Goodbye, my almost lover

                              Goodbye, my hopeless dream...

So long, my luckless romance...

Should've known you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

Whoops!

   Whoops, sorry! I just realized that there were pieces missing in the dialogue of "Charles and Winnie". Here is the fixed audio story (I linked the previous post to the fixed one, too). It should make more sense now.

Charles and Winifred

Charles and Winifred

   "The Umbrella: Part Two" is still in the process, but I thought I'd post "Charles and Winifred" while you're waiting. It's set during World War II. Charles is an English soldier and aspiring writer, and the Mullins's (Mum, Winnie, Eddie) are dear friends.
   Rina worked hard on it yesterday and today to clean up the dialogue and add music/effects. Click on the red link below and to the right. Enjoy~I hope you laugh as much as we do! (The quality is better if you use speakers and not headphones)

 Charles and Winifred

   Btw, would you rather have your own imagination of the characters, or should I tell you who Charles looks like?

My Bookshelf

   If I hadn't gotten The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks (by Rebecca Skloot) in the mail with instructions to read it by the 14th, I probably wouldn't have started it, and if I had I probably wouldn't have finished it. But I did all three.

   It's a non-fiction book that deals with the Lacks family, science, and ethics. There's a good synopsis Skloot's website, but as for style...

   It's told in three parts: life, death, and immortality. Life and death are both semi-novel style, with little flashes forward to Skloot's life. Immortality is more about her research journey and the people she met along the way. Even though a lot of it is about cancer, cells, tissue donation, and law suits, it's described simply enough that I understood it. What I like about Skloot's narration is that it's so conversational. It feels like she's sitting across from you and actually telling you the story.

 

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  I'm slowly making my way through Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell. The characters are rather silly people, but it's fun just to read a chapter or two a day (especially because each chapter is almost like a mini-story within the book). It's set in the mid-1800's in the town of Cranford, which is full of old gossipy ladies with interesting pasts. If you've read Jane Austen's novels, it's a step down, but it might still be interesting to you.

   I also just started A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Boxen, and I keep wanting to reread The Hiding Place.

   What's on your shelf?

Fan Fiction

       I get the impression that fan fiction is rather frowned upon in the writing world, and I can understand why. It's not original. Everything from the characters, to the tone, to the setting, to the dialogue, to the theme is all based on someone else's idea. But I think fanfic can be fun, creative, and good writing practice. It's like cookies. They're delicious, and as long as you don't eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and sit around like a couch potato, they are just fine for you!

    So guess what...I'm posting a fanfic story for you to read! Here are my two disclaimers:

1. I've read fan stories and been totally mortified. If other people's imaginations of your favorite characters annoys you, just carry on with what you were doing before you started reading this.
2. This story is based on the season 7 of the TV show, 24, so if you're not a fan, this probably won't be interesting.

      Have a laugh, and tell me what you think! The Presidential Endeavor.

Audio, Exercise, and What You Know

       The audiobook for Part II of The Umbrella is under way! It's still in the very first stages, so it will probably be a while, but hopefully the quality will be better. Keep an eye out for it.

     I sat most of the day. I was either writing, reading, playing piano, recording audio or eating (I stood up to eat my snack cause I felt so lazy). But I did get up early to run, and throughout the day I went up and down the stairs to take care of the guinea pigs and to dump a leak-catching bucket.

     My only comment on writing is that sometimes just starting to ask someone else for help makes you realize you already know the answer. I did that twice today when I couldn't figure out how to make the plot work. I asked my sister, "What should I do at this part, because Helen something-something..." And then I answered my own question and went to write again. Later I was really stuck and started to type a long message describing The Umbrella's storyline so my friend could give me ideas, but after it was two paragraphs long, I noticed that I was already planning how the problem would be resolved. Huh. What do you know? Maybe more than you think.

Happy August!

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    After weeks and weeks of trudging through my writing, whatever was blocking me finally crumbled and got washed away. I wrote almost all day yesterday, changing positions every couple hours to keep my legs and arms from falling asleep. This is the most fun I've had writing since during school when I was writing about one-eyed Thibault (that was before I started The Well).

     I'm on a roll with the continuation of "The Umbrella" (just a short story for now). One thing that helps is that I have an audience to get feedback from after every section. Another thing is music. It blocks out distractions and helps me focus, especially when the mood matches. Also, I actually know what's going to happen next, and most of the kinks in the plot are straightening out. My 24 knowledge is serving me well, although having an FBI expert to  consult would be quite handy.

       Finally, my cast of characters is helping me. Besides borrowing Gwyneth Paltrow for Helen, Jeremy Renner for the umbrella man, Landon Donovan for Clyde, and Rhys Coiro for Toby, I've also borrowed a few people from work. They fit in, and they all *play well with others*. It's not a new idea to write people from real life into your story, but if I did it before, it never worked this well! I got up around 8:00 and got some of the things on my to-do list done, so I think I'll go write now...

*Tony Stark voice